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I'M IN LOVE AND ENGAGED! :D

(Wow, I'm a dork)

Dear blog,
      It wasn't supposed to hurt this much.

I wish it didn't.

I'm so tired of crying.

                      Why do I miss him so much?

It's not like he's gone anywhere.

                                                       It's not like we won't be good friends.

I just wish the hurting would stop and that I knew what to do.

I mean, I thought this is what I wanted.

                                       But over two hours of both of us crying in his car, then crying myself to sleep because I felt alone and waking up crying.
Yea, that takes a toll.

I loved him more than I realized...even with all of my feelings of just feeling like I was nothing more than a friend.

trying not to cry while writing this is a challenge.

I wish things made more sense.

The more I realize how little I know...and how I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to change that to some degree.

     I've never loved like this before, and I love loving him like this.

I'm so lucky to have him in my life. <3

    Vonnegut and King had Pall Mall Cigarettes.

The vast majority of the Beat Poets did drugs and/or drank alcohol.

And me, I have Code Red Mountain Dew to inspire my writing.

My boyfriend is such a goofball,

but I love him like crazy.

I have more I'd love to say but you know, I don't feel like saying it. :p

Because it'll be sappy, and who needs to hear that?

So what can I say?

I'm broke

but I'm happy with most of my life.

I'm going to start decorating for Christmas and maybe wrap some presents.

Maybe I'll do a lot of writing tonight because I need to. I doubt it'll make me rich, but I enjoy it and it's a life list goal so who cares?

Though right now, I really need to start moving the Christmas stuff upstairs and maybe set up the tree.

Then at least I can get those damn wrapped presents out of my room and properly placed under a tree!

Which reminds me, I need to get working on that gag gift that I'm getting his whole family and some of the friends into. Hee hee.

The best part is that he's got no idea, and I love it. :D

     I wonder if Stephen King is a vampire.

True story, he called and left a message on the answering machine saying he wanted my blood and that I should go donate it.

Granted it was a recording, but I did make me laugh a little since he is a horror writer looking for blood.

I should donate blood in any case since I haven't in a few months.

Right now though, I need to get ready for work.

     Apparently the Venus de Milo is a size 14.

http://books.google.com/books?id=_CKDwPKddqUC&pg=PA106&lpg=PA106&dq=venus+de+milo+%22dress+size%22&source=bl&ots=AL5NQYE73h&sig=cRryKyq8FD6nNfH24z2hl6ljHwc&hl=en&ei=oCy5StSSNoyxtgeU9qnwDg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2#v=onepage&q=venus%20de%20milo%20%22dress%20size%22&f=false


It makes me so happy that the goddess of love wasn't a toothpick. I'm glad we're both the same size considering she is considered to be one of the most beautiful of the Greek goddesses. And I'm well, obviously not. I just like these little confidence builders.

I like the idea that beauty, in this case, is not a single numbered clothing size. It is a size 14.

Simply wonderful.

     I am so tired that I could fall asleep at the keyboard, but I am taking solace in the fact that I made someone smile today through some simple magic of the gods.

I don't feel like explaining anything else, I'm simply too tired.

Just know there will be some joy when I drift away tonight.